You do whatever it takes

As I write this blog my little man is or should be a sleep now for the evening. However I do have that doubt as he will tend to wake up just as we are about to go to bed. Today I remembered to change his nappy before putting him to bed, but last night was a totally different story. I forgot to change him before putting him to bed last night, so I tried to change him whilst he was asleep, but every time I would delicately turn him on his back to change the nappy he would roll over to his front, so I lift him out slowly keeping him a sleep to see if I have better luck changing him on the changing mat in his room. No joy. Finally I get the nappy on and almost completed when he weeps.

Oh no I cry in my head, please don’t wake, I continue in my head, as I know he will now play up and not go back.

He did and then had to spend the next 5 hours trying to get him back to sleep, thinking each time I had been successful, as I leave the room he screams. So I think, let him settle by himself as he can some nights. He doesn’t. So I decide to get him up and have him sit with me quietly for a bit. Try putting him back this time thought, yeah done it. So I get ready for bed, as soon as my head hits the pillow out cries my son. OH NO I CRY IN MY MIND PLEASE NOT NOW.

However the guilt of feeling like I being selfish wanting to be a sleep myself I get up and check on him.

This just makes him worth and now he creeps up to stand on the edge of his cot holding on the sides wanting to play.

I know it says in the books not to speak to him, but as soon as I tell myself no talking to him, the urge to talk to him rises so I do. I put on his disney music which we use to help him go back to sleep, sorry to those mums who disapprove of this but sometimes you do whatever it takes to get your little bubs to sleep. We think we have thankfully by 23:30 after two decaf coffees hoping he will settle he finally quietens, which we can hear through the baby monitor and think right lets get to sleep.

Don’t be fooled, as soon as I get into dream mode I am awake my son is crying again through the baby monitor. Do I go in or do I allow him to settle? I am contemplating this lying in bed, hoping he will quieten down but he gets louder, so I get up and go in, he stops climbs, and OH NO HE WANTS TO PLAY.

Finally it is midnight and yes he finally goes off to sleep for the night and yes I did play his music, but as said when tired you do whatever it takes.

I am relieved that I didn’t have to get up to do the 6:30am breakfast feed this morning, at least I get a lie in. Sorry to daddy but he gets the lie in the next morning.

To all mums and dads out there, you are fabulous and are doing a fab job, even though I know myself it feels like you can never win.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X